The First

The first.

It’s her birthday.  Actually,  it’s officially at 10:30 PM tonight.

I could not stop thanking God, the first time I held her.  It wasn’t until the next day, that I realized this was it!  There was no turning back.  I had a responsibility like never before.  I could barely breathe when I thought about the reality of making a mistake and RUINING my beautiful daughter.

(I admit, I tend to overthink and have a flair for being dramatic.  I look at it as a special gift from God.)

The task of raising a human-being seemed monumental.  It still does.

The first thing I thought when we took her home from the hospital came in the form of a question in all capitals,  “NOW, WHAT?”

I actually called my mom and asked her.  I’m her first so I thought she would understand.

( In case you are wondering, the phone was not in my pocket but attached to the wall.  Surreal, isn’t it?)

My mom tried to reassure me, recounting my qualifications:   “You helped with your three siblings, baby-sat millions of kids, worked at summer camps and vacation Bible-schools, and you are a registered nurse.”

“Mom, this is huge for crying out-loud.”



I think she was laughing.

“It will all work out honey.”

(My mom always said everything would work out.  And, it frequently made me mad.  I thought she did not understand.)

This. seemed. crazy.

It really is.

The thing is . . . I’ve made billions of mistakes . . . and my first is beyond amazing.  She’s beautiful inside-out, an awesome woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister,and friend.  I’m still blown away that she has become who she is.

Over the years, I’ve learned a powerful lesson through my mistakes.  When God is invited into our life, God will bring all parts of our life together to make something good out of it because of loving us so much.   It’s really a profound mystery that God loves you and I to the point of bringing all things together for good.  Because.  You know.  None of us deserve it.  Seriously, unbelievable, that God does this for us.

And.   This is weird . . . throughout the years . . . I told my first that everything would work out when she worried about something.  Despite how crazy it seems, the advice worked.

(I’m pretty sure she had reason to think I did not understand.)

And, then there’s this:  Apparently, my mom was right.

(I seriously, didn’t want to make this statement.  I’m sure I will get a text from her with a huge smiley face after she reads this.)

So.  First things first.  When you get uptight and worried about something huge, like raising a human being, remember those who choose to live the “with-God” life have the assurance that not only is God at work but will bring everything together and make it good.  Crazy–right?

It’s true and it’s a beautiful day.  My first’s birthday.

Happy Day!  Remember, everything will work out!

Gregg with our first.
Mom and dad with my first.
My grandparents with my first.
My father-in-law with my first.
My mother-in-law with my first.
Grandpa Roleder with my first.
My brother Kevin with my first.
My brother Kelly with my first.
My sister, Shelley, and friend Audrey with my first.
My first and I.
My first with one of my best friends, Conya, and her sister, Tiffany and brother, Timothy.
My first and all of us.
My first’s wedding.
My first and I admire her first.
My first’s sweet family.
My first and I.

Let’s connect.

Written by Kerrie Carlisle Palmer © 2017 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED


Author: Kerrie Carlisle Palmer

Hi there, I am a Life-Story Teller, Co-Developer of TableThink (, co-host of TableThink and Think On This Podcasts, Pastor, Church Planter, Founder of Red Door Church. I love to be with my family, friends, and anyone I meet along the way. Two musts are coffee and celebrations. I hope you and I are able to connect soon.

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